THE CONFERENCE,THE LIE, THE MEA CULPA

It's over - the dreaded conference. I told you I would report back on Monday the results, the misery, the disappointment.

Well, well, well -- mea culpa -- I lied!! The conference was fabulous. Full of inspiring, informative, positive people--the cheerleaders--waving their pom-poms of enthusiasm.

Expecting to hear how many publishing doors were slamming shut, I learned, instead, that the electronic era of the Kindle, Nook and other various devices were crashing down those doors and opening new arenas for authors.  Rah, rah, rah, where are my pom-poms?

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I don't know about you, but for me I still harbor doubts of my writing ability. Intellectually, I know I can write, but remember the longest distance in the world is from the head to the heart. I need affirmation. And, even when I get it, I have a hard time accepting it?

I wonder why.

Could it be the rejection letters? Possibly, but I'm pretty good at rationalising.

Could it be low self-esteem? I don't think so -- it's such an overused phrase...a catchall excuse.

But, I have to tell you -- after the conference -- my heart is still feeling the love and my confidence is soaring upward. Why?

Shake those pom-poms!!!

I sent in the first ten pages of my latest YA novel to be critiqued. It was, what I thought, my best writing. And the person critiquing those pages raved about it. Yes, you heard it right - RAVED.

I would do a cartwheel here, but I'd probably wind up in the hospital with a broken something. Where are those darn pom-poms anyway???

She gave me the greatest gift I could have received - HOPE and CONFIDENCE. I CAN write. and I have a great story to tell. How cool is that!!

Now comes the fun part. She gave me permission to put bad words in the story (really bad words) -- and a little sex. Oh, so unlike me, but it's going to be fun to be bad. I may not keep them in, but...as the song goes...girls just want to have fun.

The next conference is in June. I can already see those cheerleaders on the sidelines. Rah, rah, rah!!!